The End of a Long Journey
This past week has been the end of a long and hard journey for me and my family. My Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer two and a half years ago, and she lost that battle this past Tuesday morning.

I am exhausted. Breast cancer that has moved to the bone is a horrible way to watch a loved one die. It crushes a person...slowly at first and then harshly without mercy. Since January my mom had been in a decline. Two weeks ago she checked into the Cancer Treatment Center for the last time, and last Thursday they sent her to home hospice. It's hard to imagine that in this same month my mom was aware and vibrant in her suffering, and a little over a month ago she held my new baby boy in her arms. Only a few weeks back we celebrated Mother's Day with her. After she checked into the treatment center she would slip in and out of sleep, and once she was home she would only have moments where she could communicate with us...but it seemed that her mind was still with her, only she was unable to find words.

She suffered to the end. Since Saturday she would spend hours moaning. At other times she would try to tell us something, but couldn't. There were many prayers for mercy...that God would relieve her pain and take her home. I don't know why God didn't act on our time...why He didn't answer those prayers. Then finally, on Tuesday morning she weakened, and we were able to be with her when she breathed her last. It was a strangley beautiful moment as I held her hand and peace came over her face. She was almost smiling.

I held her hand and cried for a long time. Letting go is harder than you imagine it will be. We had prayed for this merciful moment. We had prepared ourselves and said goodbye mentally and verbally many times over the course of her illness. But letting go of her hand for the final time was almost impossible.

Now we are left with the emptiness of losing a loved one that can never be filled, the relief of no more suffering, the questions of a 3 year old about where Nana is, and the memories that bring smiles and tears. And we are left with you, our friends near and far who have comforted us. Thanks for that. It's more than you think it is.

For those of you trying to contact me...please don't be offended that I haven't returned your calls or emails. I'll get back with you next week. I'm really tired from the journey. I'll be resting this weekend with my family and remembering the first woman I ever loved.
posted by Jimmy at 9:38 AM | |

 
Betty Doyle:
This morning Jimmy's mom Betty passed away in her home in Kiowa after a battle with cancer.
Please be praying for Jimmy and Amy. Jimmy's father's name is Ken. It looks as if the funeral will be on Thursday or Friday.

Be praying for Jimmy. Feel free to write a prayer and leave it in the comment section if you desire.
posted by riddle at 8:01 PM | |

 
Public Assembly

Id like to come to an agreement of terms with those who feel that the Commercial Church is worth "saving". Can we define "going to church". I assume when someone says they are "going to church" they are referring to a church "service". Most often "do not forsake the public assembly" is quoted when I am told I should go to church.

Does this public assembly have a specific quantity of individuals associated with it?
Is 3 or 4 ok or does it need to be more?
Does it need to be "all the believers" of a specific area?
What needs to be accomplished by this assembly?
Edification, Worship, Rememberance of Christ?
Does "do not forsake" mean "once a week" in greek?
How could we accomplish what needs to be accomplished each week with a group larger than say 5 or 6?

What is the benefit of huge churches? Annonymity? the power of the dollar multiplied? Multiplied for what purpose? enhancing the edification? enhancing the worship? enhancing the remembrance of Christ?
Can money really enhance those things?
Money can feed the poor, house the homeless, reach the needy.
Oh I like money, it makes the seats softer and the bathrooms smell better and the sermons more tickly, but is that what we are about?

So really, what does "public assembly" mean? What do people mean when they say I should go to church?


posted by Andy at 5:56 PM | |

 
No Commentary. It says what it says.

Hybel's consumer-driven approach is evident at Willow Creek, where he shunned stained glass, Bibles, or even a cross for the 7,200-seat, $72 million sanctuary he recently built. The reason? Market research suggested that such traditional symbols would scare away non-churchgoers. He also gives practical advice. On a recent Wednesday evening, one of his four "teaching" pastors gave a service that started with 20 minutes of music, followed by a lengthy sermon about the Christian approach to personal finances. He told the 5,000 listeners about resisting advertising aimed at getting people to buy things they don't need and suggested they follow up at home by e-mailing questions. Like {Joel} Osteen (Author: Your Best Life Now), Hybel packages self-help programs with a positive message intended to make people feel good about themselves. "When I walk out of a service, I feel completely relieved of any stress I walked in with," says Phil Earnest, 38, a sales manager who in 2003 switched to Willow Creek from the Methodist Church he found too stodgy.

The rest of the article
posted by Stephen at 8:39 PM | |

 
I now have a 918 (tulsa area code) phone number....
posted by riddle at 11:09 AM | |

 
Wayne's Confession::::
At our Emergent Cohort (a group of 20-40 leaders who meet in Grand Rapids) last Wednesday, I invited my friend Wayne to share (with me) a confession. His is far more eloquent than mine, and I'll share mine at a later date...
Read with care. I hesitate to post the whole article because of each of our tendancy to skip over one or two points that hit "a little close to home" or challenge our thinking in order to hammer home the point we really agree with and don't struggle with...

so. post with caution.... but please share your thoughts...



Intro:

What follows is an admission of unhealthy patterns I have developed as I have “surfed the edge of chaos” toward a “missional, continually converted, connecting, equipping, aqua church” that “stands on the threshold of the future between gospel and culture,” practices a “virtual, ancient-future faith” and “re-imagines spiritual formation,” embraces “leadership on the other side,” and exerts “irresistible influence” while becoming “an unstoppable force” in the world. I have realized there is “a future for truth” and entered “the dance of change” and connected with others to “generate hope” as “a peculiar people.” I have become “blue like jazz” while learning to “let my life speak.” However, I am “less ready than I realized” and not as “generous” or “orthodox” as I sometimes let on. I am better at deconstructing the present than “shaping the things to come.” In fact, I have reached “the tipping point” of true confession regarding the dark side of my emergent sensibilities.

1 I have used “new” language to cover up “old” behavior.

My sinful tendencies and patterns are not all that different from twenty years ago when I was into “doing theology” and implementing church growth strategies. It’s nice to think that I have a prophetic imagination in a de-centered culture, but really I’m consistently angry and pissed off about unmet expectations. It sounds great when I deconstruct the systems and strategies of a mechanistic worldview, but I am often nurturing a critical, judgmental attitude. I can speak of organic environments and missional patterns in a way that feeds my ego and supposedly keeps me at the cutting edge. I can describe the “double-loop liminality” of those attached to the world of Christendom, but I, too, struggle with bouts of fear and anxiety. Perhaps I have gained some awareness of cultural transitions and emergent dynamics in recent years, but I still have to continually release the grip on my own baggage: anger, judgment, fear, and pride. If I don’t, I bring pain to those with whom I serve and limit the possibilities of shared life and ministry.

2. I have allowed a big gap between my intentions and my behavior.

I can converse ad nauseum about the comprehensive nature of the gospel: the gospel is a way of life, the gospel bears witness to God’s reign, the gospel embraces the practices of Jesus (and his early followers), the gospel challenges prevailing social and political systems, the gospel calls for the sharing of life and ministry with the poor, the gospel confronts self-protection and autonomy, etc., etc. I have consistently had good intentions about faithfully modeling and proclaiming this gospel. But, to be crass, how I spend my money, how I use my time, where I live, and who I hang out with say more about what I really believe than well-crafted words. There have been too many times where I have called people to the life I intended to live, not to the life I was actually living. It is only in recent years that I have made some of the lifestyle changes that bring a greater capacity for wholeness, generosity, love, and simplicity. Rather than passively benefiting from systems of injustice while declaring a radically inclusive gospel, I have taken small steps to live in a way that challenges these systems.

3. I have missed significant “life signs” in traditional (i.e. “modern”) ministry systems and models.

I have spent so much energy reacting to and challenging hierarchical leadership, Sunday morning vendor events, programmatic ministry, centralized decision-making, personality-driven youth ministry, segmented ministry areas, project-oriented mission, etc., etc. that I am sometimes surprised that people are actually being transformed in this framework. I have dismissed most denominations as being totally irrelevant, yet my recent work as a congregational coach has opened my eyes to the informed theologies, historical practices, and culturally-engaged attitudes that are being creatively carried into the new world. There are some struggling denominational urban congregations that are far ahead of some “growing” suburban, emergent churches when it comes to sustained, yet adaptive cultural engagement.

4. I have been drawn to innovative concepts, creative language, and imaginative interpretation and undervalued the immediate, particular, daily opportunities to simply love God and others.

I have gone through periods of time when I’ve been captured and consumed by “big picture” issues and visionary possibilities. I have played out imaginative scenarios for missional engagement in a postmodern, post Christendom, post-Einstein, post…whatever world, but more often than I like to admit, I have not been fully present with my family, available to my neighbors, or responsive to the needs of my friends. Only recently have I begun to experience the deep joy of being firmly rooted in a particular place and time with a particular group of people. I have become more alert to a major myth of modernity: the “clean slate.” When it comes to relationships, we don’t have multiple “do-overs.”

5. I have overestimated my role as a “change agent.”

A subtle grandiosity can enter the hearts and minds of those who think they understand the cultural landscape and feel called to being a “prophetic presence.” In their desire to have “an impact” in a given context and be “a catalyst” of transformation, they can fall into the trap of trying to convince others so that they “get it.” I have fallen into this trap. I have used relational, organic, emergent language to bring about pre-determined outcomes and then wondered why there was so much resistance. I have been selectively “authentic” so that the changes I wanted would become reality. As one who has become incredibly sensitive to the leveraging strategies of others, I still catch myself trying to “make something happen.” This remains a “dark side” area that continually needs the light of truth-telling friends.
posted by riddle at 6:34 AM | |

 
Spiritual Musical Chairs and Misplaced Measurement

I love the teaching of Jesus. I don't always get it. Sometimes I think I've got it... and then for some reason, the world shifts and I'm left wondering how I could have ever held the opinion I have. This has led me to quote parables and other teachings to people less often. I know that is unnerving for some of you. But allow me the benefit of the doubt. Let me explain.

Most of the time, when someone quotes a parable to me or a friend, it is done in an attempt to solve a problem or unsettled issue I have. The "quoter" either believes that they have a complete grasp of the situation I'm involved in (which is almost always do not), or the "quoter" can not personally allow for ambiguity or unsettled issues to remain because of their own discomfort. The parable becomes the anticodote to the problem. (And of course all problems must be solved.)
The third reason a "quoter" quotes a parable to others is born out of an oversimplification of spirituality. Transformation generally equates to behavior modification (take Andy's Confession post previous to this one as an example) or transformation equates to a perceived togetherness.

It seems to me, from off the top of my head, that Jesus uses parables to create problems, not solve them. He turns traditional pat answer religiosity on it's head. He rarely gives a straight answer to anything. He rarely solves problems in his teaching... (he does interestingly enough, physically)

I'm also not so sure that Jesus was interested in measuring the way we do.
For instance. He says "the first will be last, and the last will be first." So we spend our lives trying to be last, so we can be first. Today I was good, I put others first all day. Today I'm last. YEAH! That means I'm first. uh oh... I'm first now. Do you get what I'm saying? So we play this I'm first, no, last, no, first, no, last, first, last... like musical chairs... We pray we'll be in the last chair when the music stops (and Jesus returns).... then God will be happy. But this is ridiculous.

Another mis-measurement of "Quoters" is the judgement that is often associated with it.
It seems it's difficult to quote a parable to someone for any of the above reasons without judging them in some way. Which coincidently is the exact reason most of the parables were spoken against...

It seems the parables should bring us to our knees... humility and graditute are the outcomes for parables.

and if you are going to quotes them, these should be the primary characteristics of the "quoter"... if you can pull this off... then cool... I'm not sure I can at this time...

Just some thoughts. I could be wrong.
posted by riddle at 6:40 PM | |

 
Confession.

I hate pious christians in their sunday best, believing they must be doing things right because they have a great job and a healthy family and position in the church. I hate them and its wrong. I think they are sinning, not more than I sin. But somehow I hate it more than my own sin. It's so proud and powerful. It disgusts me, makes me angry. It makes me feel as angry as they look when they see a poor person or hear someone using "colorful " language. I really hate them.

I know that is not Christ in me. But I want them to be put in their place. I want them called on the carpet. I want things brought to light. I want the repentence they demand from the "social sinners" of our day. Especially the pastors, Lord especially them. I want them dragged before their own courts of Gossip and shamed. whew im really mad. It seems the Gospel will never prevail with them around. They twist the gospel, tainting it with their own twisted morality.

Thats why I dont go to church. Those people always end up in the power positions. They make the decisions. I hate them. God help me hate the sin and not them. Give me wisdom to know the difference and help me love them. But please if there is any way for me to do that and not have to go to their stupid meetings id like to do it that way.
posted by Andy at 7:50 PM | |

 
Culture Course

I don't hear my father speak ill of America often.

He's one of those eternal optimists... the type of person who believes in the innate morality of the ideals that the American system was founded on.

In a lot of ways, I agree with him. In a lot of ways, I wish I could, but I feel like I know too much.

One day, when I was younger, he came home from a church meeting. He didn't say anything to us... the kids. But he talked to my mother in one of those conversations where you know it's something that's weighing on him, even though I couldn't really understand it. Later, I asked mom what was up.

"Your father thinks that America might be the whore of Babylon."

"The one in Revelations?" My youth group was obsessed with Revelations. It's all we talked about, mainly because all the kids in there got the same thrill out of hearing the typical fundamentalist interpretation of it that other people get out of having their palms read. When my brother and I graduated from high school, we'd gotten barely anything about the value system of the Kingdom of God from that group, but we sure knew that timeline of the "End Times."

"Yeah... that one."

"Why?"

"Well... things are just getting so much darker."

I heard it again on this guy's television show (I was waiting for Batman to come on on Saturday morning). "Our culture is becoming more and more course. Things are getting much darker. Even Christians are accepting lies in exchange for the truth." He had just gotten through teaching a group of people that Isaiah tells us that anyone who partakes in alcohol will burn in hell for eternity (I'm not exaggerating).

It came up yet again in our Bible study last week as we looked at 2 Timothy. "But realize this, that in the last days, difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good."

Someone mentioned that things seemed a good deal less moral today than they did even twenty years ago. I had agreed to hold my tongue. Then the guy leading the study asked, "I suppose everyone agrees with this.... Does everyone agree with this?"

I piped up. "Well, I question it sometimes."

"How so?" These people in my Bible study are all great people... honestly interested in different opinions. I just wish they weren't always seeming to come from me. I can be annoying.

"Well, I mean, think about our history. As recently as 150 years ago, a lot of people... a lot of CHRISTIANS... thought it was okay to own people. We had the absurd notion that women would somehow be defiled by being allowed to vote. Think about Ancient Rome... I mean, talk about a culture that was obsessed with violence. When you think about the way people WERE, in a lot of ways, we've gotten a lot better. Sometimes I just wonder if we're simply trading sins."

I still don't know what I think about this. Sometimes I'll be the first to admit that things are going down the toilet. But I think, to a lot of Christians, the only things they're thinking about when they say this are sexual issues and abortion. If I were to think that our culture is getting "darker", it's because it's getting a lot harder to even be nice to people. Kindergarten teachers are told not to hug their kids for fear of being sued. Teenage girls who want to hand out Valentine's cookies to their neighbors get fined for "scaring" one of the residents. We are so separated from the poor and the oppressed... those MOST in need of good news... that you practically have to become a social worker in order to even be around the people who scriptures tell us to be looking out for. It's gotten dangerous to even do nice things for people.

Apparently, though, many Christians believe that the answer to our course culture is laws against sexually suggestive cheerleading moves, impeaching "activist" judges, and protecting marriage from gay people.

But, like I said, I still don't know what I think about this. What do you think? Are things going downhill, or are we victims of the nostalgia bug?
posted by Stephen at 7:32 PM | |

 
Funny Quote from a Pastor:

"We are a community of grace not judgement. We emphasize grace the other congregations in the area are more judgemental."




no further comments necessary... unless you'd like to implecate yourself by somehow giving another example of the above quote.....
posted by the fly at 8:27 AM | |

 
Sometimes Almost

Last week while scanning stations, my radio accidently stopped on a christian radio station. There was an advertisment playing for a Christian College. The school was obviously trying to catch the attention of young students the excitement of college life. They seemed somehow reluctant to relate too much value to events outside of the classroom. Here is the schools catchy slogan.
"Such and Such Christian College where SOMETIMES the experience outside the classroom is ALMOST as exciting as the experience inside the classroom. "

What does that mean? Sometimes/ Almost. Bland tasteless useless blither. Some homeschool mom is hearing those commercials and thinking "mmmm that sounds great, it sounds like fun, but not too fun."
posted by Andy at 7:14 PM | |

 
"Everything Happens for a Reason!"

While I'm thinking about phrases that bug me here's one.
It generally comes when something really really bad happens.
This phrase isn't used when you fail a test... it's used when your close friend tells you he's a cocaine addict or when a couple teenage girls in your church are awoken by their father as he attempts to kill them with an axe, then he shoots everyone in the house...or when your son dies in a car accident. Bad bad stuff. Sometimes it's used by the family member or close friend who is directly effected by the pain... In these cases it makes since to say something like this....

But often it is said by pastors, or those who are supporting the person in the most pain.
The motive in saying such a thing is to be comforting. But to me it feels like it's a backhanded shot at God. Sit with a group of teenage girl cheerleaders who's two friends were brutally murdered and tell them "everything happens for a reason" and they might believe you for a while... tell that to their parents... and it's another story..

"Everything happens for a reason "is often mistaken for a quote from Paul in the book of Romans when he says "all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes"
but these quotes mean very different things.
God can take any situation and work it for good, I believe, because he is in fact GOOD.
But if God is a great puppeteer in the sky making "everything happen for a reason" then he is one sick SOB, and not Good in the least bit.

So when you say "everything happens for a reason" don't be pointing to some kind of holy plan God is working out to make you a better person because a guy murders his family.
When you say "Everything happens for a reason" I hope you mean, some desperate sick man builds a tremendous gambling debt and wants to "save his family" from having to deal with it.. so he hits them over and over with an axe. Don't put that on God.

Everything does not happen for a reason.

but i could be wrong..
posted by riddle at 7:38 PM | |