Tuesday, December 20, 2005
 
Speaking of Misquoting Jesus...
More of our What Jesus Really Said... translations. We have revised the current English translation by working diligently for at least 30 minutes to an hour on the oldest New Testament Manuscripts in existence (which were erroneously thought to be written in Greek around AD 50, but were truly written in the King's English in AD 1611--we think we have found the world's oldest copy on a Mardel's shelf here in Tulsa dating from circa AD 1987). Here is more of our exciting work:

False Prophets
"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves—which would make a really cool sci-fi, horror movie. Kind of like aliens in ‘The Thing’ So watch out for them…cause it would be pretty amazing.”

Lord, Lord
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, ‘Cool…you’re good. C’mon in.’”'

More On False Prophets
By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Of course, with genetic modification you could probably pick grapes from thornbushes. So always remember, with man this is impossible but with science all things are possible. Plus, even plants that bear bad fruit or even no fruit can be very decorative…so we should always have some false prophets around just for décor.”

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