"Your Friends will be there"

Seems like a harmless phrase attached to every youth ministry registration, event flyer or calendar. I've used it often. No. I've beat it like "Mommy Dearest" and I've decided to declare... "no wire hangers!"

“Your friends will be there” is one of the most manipulative things you can say to a teen. It might be true, but it’s wrong. What purpose does telling a teenager, who inherently struggles with identity and belonging that “Your friends will be there” serve except to manipulate them into feeling that they will either be left “out” by not attending, or raising their hopes to actually being “in” by attending. Regardless you are selling something you can’t deliver. Friends are the lifeblood of adolescence and to use “belonging” to influence a teen to come to an event you are hosting is underhanded, shady and an abuse of the power God has given you. Can we agree here together as youth pastors to stop saying “Your friends will be there.”
posted by riddle at 8:37 AM | |