From a Friend:

Dear God
the world runs away with my heart grasped tightly in her fist
laughing as if its some kind of joke.
i sputter and fall into that which i hated – still hate somehow
so that i hate myself, somehow,
even while i revel in the pleasures of the world:
partaking of her lusty madness and drunken dances
tasting the sensuous flavor of wantonness.

i scream at the sky and its “god” that inhibited me for so long!
where are you!? nowhere. you never were there.
id rather know you aren’t than know you at all.
meaningless is much more comforting.
death and nothing means more to me than forever.
why waste one life for another?
an eternal life is not worth giving up this one.
each individual moment i breath means more to me now than you ever will again.

i don’t care where i came from, i don’t care where i’m going!
i care that right now i love to write and breathe and think.
i care that i could make life better for them... don’t you?
no. you let them die. or rather, you cant make life better for them.
you don’t exist. not to me. not anymore.

shayna williams 6.17.2005
posted by Jimmy at 1:25 PM | |