Pharisees-R-Us
I'm coming to this understanding and realization that I'm a Pharisee.
 
I love to stand--not sit, mind you, but stand--in the back.  You know what I mean?  I stand in the back of worship services, chapels, youth events, training events.  You've seen me with my friends.  There we are standing in the back, talking.  People are worshipping, listening,  and we're talking about the lighting, the sound, the speaker/performer.  We've been in charge of such things and now for some reason we can't (or won't) partcipate in them like everyone else.   We hide by the soundboard or the video guys or whatever looks official.  By standing in the back we are in the middle...Not quite participating, not quite absent.  It's hard to pigeon-hole us Pharisees.  It keeps us from having to show our cards until the event is over and we can talk about it.   No...it's much easier to stand in the back like commentators for some sporting event.   Not to mention it makes us look official or important.
 
Once you start standing in the back, it becomes easy to be nothing but a critic.  Criticism and judgement is the cynic's version of participation.  Of course, I'm highly qualified to be a critic.  In some ways working in professional ministry trained me to be this way.  You know, you go to a Willow Creek/Saddle Back/Youth Specialties/Whatever Convention as a church staffer and you're really not participating so much as figuring out and learning what stuff is good enough to steal.    You're learning to be a critic.
 
I've learned to critique and now I've become a judge.  I can see myself 2,000 years ago.  Jesus (or Paul for that matter) is teaching and there I am...Standing in the back of the synagogue.   "Who does this guy think he is?"  Or if I'm not judging Him, I'm judging the people.  "These people just don't get it." 
 
I've come to see this reality in me, but I don't know what I'm going to do.   I enjoy standing in the back.   And it's so safe back here.

posted by Jimmy at 11:07 AM | |