Bible Verses For Today's Christians
Here are some new translations that may make more sense to the modern American Christian:

Romans 3:9-21
What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. As it is written:
"There are no Fully Devoted Followers™ of christ, not even one;
there is no one who is Purpose Driven™,
no one who asks, 'What Would Jesus Do?™'.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who follows the Irrefutable Laws of Leadership™,
not even one."

Mark 1:10-13
As Jesus was Emerging™ out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a Dove Award™. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert for Forty Days of Purpose™, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him and gave him little chocolate candies in 40 Days of Purpose™ wrappers.

Matthew 16:18-19
And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven--complete with the key chain of helpful memory verses..."
posted by Jimmy at 2:55 PM | |