Jimmy and I had a really good conversation with our headmaster the other day. We were both really concerned about the apparent contradiction between working in a so-called Christian environment, yet feeling pressure to avoid the honesty and intimacy that is so vital to kingdom living. Even more so, we were concerned that not having a "place" to invite the kids into as a model of the type of values we wanted to perpetuate was tantamount to setting the kids up for failure, driving them to the same cynicism that I, for one, believe has infected my own thinking and would like to see others avoid.

His word to us was that we were trying too hard to define the Kingdom of God.

Almost simultaneously, Jimmy's copy of Bonhoeffer's Life Together is returned to him, which he proceeds to devour and spit back at me. It's great stuff. We both needed to hear it. It became obvious to me that my ideal of what Christian community should be had become an idol, and it was getting in the way of my experiencing community now.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a vision. I think God gives us those, and it's up to us to be faithful to them. The problem comes when we start shoving that vision down others throats... other people whose visions may be different. That creates conflict. I can totally be faithful to my vision without imposing it on other people. I mean, I'm the only one that I can really worry about, right? I can't let my desire to pursue that vision keep me from being attentive to the needs that are in front of me right now.

So I have to accept that the Kingdom of God is within me... and that Christ is with me now, even outside of the context of my model Christian community. It's been almost liberating. I have reveled in almost every conversation I have had with another believer since this dawned on me. I have relished them. I consider it a blessing to be in contact with that believer now, and I want to acknowledge Christ in the present, because I never know when that fellowship might be taken from me.

It puts a lot in perspective... and I look forward to my next conversation now.
posted by Stephen at 11:45 PM | |