Fog... Very Dense Fog... and a little confusion

I wish that the time periods between when I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something and when I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels would sort of EXTEND somewhat. It would be nice to just have some straight-aways.

I may have been through this before, but I'm still searching for that fine line between contentment and lazy disobedience. I know God has given me a vision... he has revealed things to me. He has placed desires in my heart, and they're so real that I can't help but act on them. And it's not that there is not fruit. I'm watching some really cool things happen, and I've made some really great friends. I feel, more than ever, that I've made very real connections with some of my students... and in a few cases, feel that they've been teaching me as much as I've been teaching them.

At the same time, I find myself tired. I find that things are slipping through the cracks because of how busy I am. I don't want to be the busy Martha... running around the house "doing" things because the Lord is with me, but pissed off at all the people who have parked their rears at the feet of Jesus, only to be humiliated by having him tell me that they've chosen the better thing. I want the freedom that comes in just resting at the feet of Jesus.

But what do I do with these things? These things that will never save me, but that I enjoy doing and, at some level, feel called to do! These things that, if I weren't doing them, I think I'd be taking what God gave me and sticking it in the ground.

I need discernment. I'm praying for discernment. Either discernment, or to be independently wealthy. Hmmm...
posted by Stephen at 11:23 PM | |